so its been over a month since i posted and about a month since i finished my last class. kinda getting all introspective again. but really im just getting annoyed at my friends. people i thought were my friends. were my friends at one time anyway. now they are....who knows. im tired of caring. im tired of reaching and begin ignored or blown off. im tired of being told that i can pick up a phone too when im the only one trying. tired of feeling a twinge of hurt when no one tries to include others in their lives. so im done. pretty sure i said it once before but im done. now its on everyone else. it seems everyone is content to let us drift apart even though it is so easy to keep together but now its on you all. the ball is in your court. you want to keep friendships alive great. you know where i am. if not your doing a great job already. balls in your court. im done

so i just realized that the post i wrote i never posted so i figure nows the time. as of last thursday i offically graduated from Kean University. yay! that being the case i now have the rest of my life ahead of me and im thinking before i just into a soul crushing career or going back to school i think im taking a little time off for me. not a year or anything just some time to decompress and live a little bit. anime next is come and gone and all in all it was a little strange this year partially because we usually go as a big group but no one really went this year. well people went but no one seemed to want to do a group so. not a big fan of the new location plus it rained so all in all not a good sign for the con. Otakon is in a few week im sure that will be much better and NY anime is in sept so im looking forward to that too. basically trying to balance relaxing and not getting really lazy. its a hard balance since my tendency has been towards just hanging out in the house so ive been trying to get outside as much as i can. heres a decent list of things that im looking to do while im on break from life:

-catch up on anime ive been meaning to watch
-catch up on movies i got forever ago and never got around to watching
-catch up on books i have sitting around
-try and reconnect with friends and family that have drifted away over the years
-go through and organize all my school notes so i can actually find the information im looking for
-send thank you notes to all the professors that i actually cared about and didnt suck
-write a resume (yea yea i know i should have done that already)
-spend a whole day at the shore not in the arcade the whole time
-do some backpacking/camping
-go to massachusetts (just because)

basically since my life has been on hold the last five years im going to try and take time for me and things i want to do. things are always better with friends so im hoping i can spend as much time as possible with people too. in any case its going to be a fun ride i hope

played softball with work people today. got destroyed but had tons of fun. school is almost over, thursday to be exact. half a paper to write and a final and im done. its an odd feeling.

tommorrow starts the last week of the last class of my current college career. dont know how i feel about it. strange things are happening but i guess its a change im going to adjust to eventually. the start of the rest of my life

im not going to make a full post about graduation but all in all it was really nice though a bit long. after it was over we went out for lunch at le peep and then i spent the rest of the with kristen playing video games and making mini adventures into town. weee. in more exciting news i just checked my grades and i got two A's a B+ and a B which puts me on the deans list for this semester and brings my total GPA up to....3.007!!! yea i kno it cuts off at two decimals but im so excited i finally managed to drag my GPa over a 3.0 after semesters of hard work trying to undo a really bad semester a few years ago. sooo happy!!! now if i do well in my summer class that should bring it up even more! :happy dance: so that pretty much just made my day. as long as work is not a complete clusterfuck im going to be having a really great day today. w00t